Life in a Defence or veteran family can bring unique challenges. Postings, time apart, career disruption, changing support networks, caring responsibilities and transition can all affect how we feel and function day to day. With so much to manage, our own wellbeing can easily move further down the list.

But being well is a critical foundation for a quality life. The World Health Organization defines health as: “Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.” Our wellbeing is affected by many aspects, including our relationships, sense of purpose, our knowledge and access to information and services, social connections, emotional wellbeing and financial security. 

For Defence and veteran families, these areas can be particularly interconnected. A posting, for example, might mean leaving behind friends and family, changing jobs or putting a career on hold, finding new schools or childcare, and rebuilding a support network — all at the same time. Transition from Defence or periods of separation can bring their own changes too.

Taking time to check in across these areas can help us recognise what is going well, where we may need more support and what small changes could make a difference.

In this blog, we explore wellbeing in the context of Defence and veteran family life,and provide some quick practical ways to support your wellbeing.

Wellbeing is about your whole life

The DVA and Defence wellbeing model for veteran families similarly recognises that wellbeing is shaped by a complex combination of individual, lifestyle, social, economic and environmental factors. In their ‘Wellbeing Wheel’ they highlight 9 core aspects that are crucial to wellbeing and increasing a family’s likelihood of thriving. 

The model reinforces that wellbeing results from a complex interplay between biological, lifestyle, socioeconomic, societal and environmental factors. It also seeks to recognise the diversity of veteran families.

In positive psychology, these factors affect each other. In yoga practice, the body’s health affects mental wellbeing and vice versa.

This is why it can be useful to occasionally look beyond one particular challenge and consider how you are going across your life as a whole.

You might be feeling confident in your career but missing meaningful friendships. Your family life might feel strong while your physical health has slipped down the priority list. Or perhaps several areas are feeling difficult at once.

Recognising that doesn’t mean everything needs to be fixed. It simply gives you a clearer picture of where you are now — and where a little more attention or support might make a difference. That’s where a simple tool like the Wheel of Life can help.

Take stock with the Wheel of Life

One practical tool we use in our Cowork Coplay program is the Wheel of Life (or Wheel of CHEESE!!). It provides a simple way to pause and consider how different areas of your life are going, rather than looking at wellbeing through just one lens.

The exercise gives a bird’s eye view of everything at once, so you can see which areas are flourishing and which ones need the most work. Having everything in view is the whole point. 

Have you ever felt like one or more parts of your life are off or ‘not working’? This tool really helps you see if some things are really lopsided as all the attributes sit next to each other. 

You can draw your own circle on a piece of paper or use an online tool like Michael Hyatt’s Life Score Assessment or like this one from Positive Psychology. Adapt these areas to your specific needs or importance, these are just an example:

• Marriage or partner
• Family
• Social life and friends
• Work, purpose and career
• Hobbies
• Physical health / fitness
• Mental health
• Spirituality / meaning  
• Financial wellbeing and security.

It’s important to acknowledge that these factors interact with each other as well. But for the sake of simplicity and being able to take some time and use it to create valuable, deep insights for yourself, we recommend this tool.

For each area, give yourself a score from 1 to 10 based on how satisfied you feel with that part of your life right now. Once you have scored each section, connect the points to create your own Wheel of Life. Be honest. Use it as an opportunity to reflect: Which parts of your life feel great? Which areas aren’t where you’d like them to be?

Is there one area that could benefit from a little more attention?

Your wheel may also change as your circumstances change. A posting, deployment, new job, career break or transition can shift your priorities and what you need at different stages.

The important part is recognising where you are now and what matters to you. From there, you can choose one small, realistic action rather than feeling like you need to change everything at once.

Small actions can support your wellbeing 

Once you have taken stock of the different areas of your life, the next step doesn’t need to be a major change. Choose one area that could use a little more attention and think about a small, realistic action you can take.

What that looks like will be different for everyone. It might mean:

• Connection: Call a friend, organise a coffee. Is there a local organisation that your values align with and you can join a social activity? Do you already do something like go to the gym and you can explore a new friend connection? 
• Physical wellbeing: Go for a walk, check out the yoga classes provided by your local Veteran Families’ Wellbeing Hub, make time for movement you enjoy or prioritise rest. We’ve had lots of people do our Cowork Coplay programs and realise they miss running and netball, for example!
• Work and purpose: Is your current role serving you? If you want to look at a change, what do you need in the next role (consider work hours, type of work, on your feet/sitting, salary, flexibility, culture, responsibilities)? Update your resume, explore a new opportunity or take one step towards a career goal.
• Hobbies: Make time for something you enjoy simply because you enjoy it. Reflect on your childhood or teenage years: Was there an activity where you found yourself regularly in flow or relaxed?
• Mental health/wellbeing: Take a few quiet minutes to check in with yourself, practise mindfulness or write down what’s on your mind.
• Relationships: Create some uninterrupted time with your partner, family or someone important to you. Consider what you can do to improve conflict or provide compassion.
• Finances: Review one part of your household finances or identify an area where you would benefit from more information or support. Check out the ADF Financial Services Consumer Centre or Bravery Trust, who provide financial support.

Another simple practice used in our Cowork Coplay wellbeing sessions is gratitude. This might be writing down three things you are grateful for, taking a moment during the day to notice something positive, or telling someone why you appreciate them.

The goal isn’t to add another long list of things you should be doing. It is about recognising what supports you and choosing something manageable that helps protect your energy and capacity.

Small actions, practised consistently, can be a meaningful place to start. You might like to set some intentions around habits. There’s a lot of literature out there on this topic so a couple of places to start: James Clear’s advice on making habits stick; one of the 3C’s frameworks (there’s a few out there): Consistency; Cues; Creativity. Always come back to self-compassion when you fail to do the thing you set out to do. And then try again.

Support is available when you need it 

Looking after your health and wellbeing doesn’t have to be something you manage alone. Defence and veteran families have access to a range of programs, services and financial supports that can help with different aspects of wellbeing — from physical and mental health to rehabilitation and community connection.

Knowing what you’re eligible for is important. Sometimes support already exists for an area you’ve identified through your Wheel of Life; you just need to know where to find it.

Some examples of support you can access today

For serving families, the ADF Family Health Program can help eligible family members with healthcare costs. The program provides unlimited reimbursement for eligible GP services, as well as an annual allocation for eligible allied health and specialist services for each registered dependant.

Mental health support is also available specifically for the Defence and veteran community. Open Arms – Veterans & Families Counselling provides free and confidential mental health and wellbeing support to current and ex-serving ADF members and their families.

Support can extend beyond traditional healthcare. Depending on your circumstances, there are services that can help with physical rehabilitation, social connection, education and skills, peer support and navigating life after service. Organisations including Mates4Mates, BuddyUp, SoldierOn, Invictus Australia provide different opportunities for Defence and veteran families to access social activities.

You can also search for services and programs through a few handy directories:

• Veteran Wellbeing Centre Directory 
• Resolute Ready Digital Hub
• Servulink Directory 
• Defence’s Forcenet website.

It can be worth taking some time to explore what’s available and what you or your family may be eligible to access. We’ve included a selection of useful services and resources at the end of this blog to help you get started.

Connection is part of your wellbeing 

Looking after your wellbeing doesn’t always mean doing more by yourself. Connection with other people can play an important role too. For Defence and veteran families, maintaining those connections can be challenging. Postings can mean leaving established friendships and family support behind, while time apart, caring responsibilities and transition can all change the networks you once relied on.

Finding opportunities to connect with people who understand Defence and veteran family life can help build that sense of community again.

Human Quotient Group’s free events and programs create opportunities for Defence and veteran families to connect, develop personally and professionally, and discover support within their local communities; from coworking to our Cowork Coplay program which provides a facilitated 8-week experience to improve your life, career and wellbeing.

Find connection through free events like Connections & Conversations 

Connections & Conversations is a welcoming place to meet people who understand your journey, share experiences, build genuine friendships and grow your local support network; all over a free morning tea.

Whether you’re navigating a posting, transition, caring responsibilities or simply looking for your people, come along, connect and discover the support around you. Next event in Adelaide is 28th September: Register now!

Your wellbeing doesn’t need to be perfect 

Wellbeing isn’t about having every part of your life perfectly balanced. Our circumstances, priorities and needs change. And Defence and veteran family life can bring particularly significant periods of change.

Sometimes the most useful place to start is simply checking in.

Consider the different areas of your own “Wheel of Life”. Notice what’s going well, acknowledge the areas that feel more difficult and choose one small action that could support you right now.

That might mean making time for something you enjoy, reconnecting with a friend, moving your body, taking one step towards a career goal, asking for help or finding a community where you feel understood.

You don’t need to work on everything at once.

Explore free support and connection with Human Quotient Group

Human Quotient Group provides free programs designed to support career development, wellbeing and community connection for Defence and veteran families.

Explore our upcoming programs and events, including the Cowork Coplay program and free events like Connections & Conversations, and find an opportunity that’s right for you. 

Small actions can support your wellbeing 

Once you have taken stock of the different areas of your life, the next step doesn’t need to be a major change. Choose one area that could use a little more attention and think about a small, realistic action you can take.

What that looks like will be different for everyone. It might mean:

• Connection: Call a friend, organise a coffee. Is there a local organisation that your values align with and you can join a social activity? Do you already do something like go to the gym and you can explore a new friend connection? 
• Physical wellbeing: Go for a walk, check out the yoga classes provided by your local Veteran Families’ Wellbeing Hub, make time for movement you enjoy or prioritise rest. We’ve had lots of people do our Cowork Coplay programs and realise they miss running and netball, for example!
• Work and purpose: Is your current role serving you? If you want to look at a change, what do you need in the next role (consider work hours, type of work, on your feet/sitting, salary, flexibility, culture, responsibilities)? Update your resume, explore a new opportunity or take one step towards a career goal.
• Hobbies: Make time for something you enjoy simply because you enjoy it. Reflect on your childhood or teenage years: Was there an activity where you found yourself regularly in flow or relaxed?
• Mental health/wellbeing: Take a few quiet minutes to check in with yourself, practise mindfulness or write down what’s on your mind.
• Relationships: Create some uninterrupted time with your partner, family or someone important to you. Consider what you can do to improve conflict or provide compassion.
• Finances: Review one part of your household finances or identify an area where you would benefit from more information or support. Check out the ADF Financial Services Consumer Centre or Bravery Trust, who provide financial support.

Another simple practice used in our Cowork Coplay wellbeing sessions is gratitude. This might be writing down three things you are grateful for, taking a moment during the day to notice something positive, or telling someone why you appreciate them.

The goal isn’t to add another long list of things you should be doing. It is about recognising what supports you and choosing something manageable that helps protect your energy and capacity.

Small actions, practised consistently, can be a meaningful place to start. You might like to set some intentions around habits. There’s a lot of literature out there on this topic so a couple of places to start: James Clear’s advice on making habits stick; one of the 3C’s frameworks (there’s a few out there): Consistency; Cues; Creativity. Always come back to self-compassion when you fail to do the thing you set out to do. And then try again.