In Conversation… Annabelle Wilson event - Human Quotient Group Pty Ltd

We recently had the privilege of welcoming Annabelle Wilson, Veteran Family Commissioner for the Department of Veterans’ Affairs, to our Careers and Conversations event in Darwin.

Annabelle shared openly about her experiences as a Defence spouse, her path into advocacy and how lived experience continues to shape her work supporting veteran families.

Read more below about Annabelle’s story, the experiences that shaped her career and her commitment to leaving the veteran community a little better than she found it.

Healing through service: How Annabelle Wilson is transforming the veteran family experience

When you think of veteran advocacy, the names that come to mind are often those who have spent decades in uniform. Yet the heartbeat of the veteran community is often found in those people who stand beside the service members—spouses, parents and children—navigating the realities of service life. 

Annabelle Wilson, the Veteran Family Commissioner working alongside the Department of Veterans’ Affairs (DVA), embodies this spirit and holds the responsibility of her role very closely.

“My job is to bring the lived experience of families of veterans into the policy and program decisions within the Department and hold them to account as much as I can,” she said recently at a free community event hosted by Human Quotient Group.

In the role for 12 months so far, Annabelle has set out to listen and make a difference. Despite originally being reluctant to apply for the role, she has described the role so far as ‘healing’.

Read on to hear more about her experience as a Defence spouse coping with profound loss to channelling that energy into being a frontline policy‑shaper.

Annabelle speaking at In Conversation event

Left: Annabelle Wilson in conversation with Simone from Human Quotient Group; Right: Annabelle speaking with members of the Darwin Defence and veteran community.

Close connection with Defence service life informs focus

Annabelle’s connection to Defence began at 19, when she met Flight Lieutenant Josh Chalmers. Their early years were marked by the “unaccompanied resident family” (URF, formerly referred to as Member with Dependants Unaccompanied) lifestyle—long periods of separation, frequent relocations, and regular military postings.

“I lived in Melbourne while he posted around because I had friends and my life and study and all that kind of thing. It’s been interesting as for a while I called myself a fraud; a fraud as a Defence spouse because I thought, well, I didn’t move around so I didn’t have the actual experience. But in going around the country and meeting people and talking to people, I’ve realised how common it actually is.”

In 2017, while almost 8 months pregnant, Annabelle’s world shifted dramatically. Josh was diagnosed with brain cancer just 6 weeks after returning from an 8‑month Afghanistan deployment. His condition deteriorated, leading to a medical discharge—an experience that, for Annabelle, highlighted a stark gap in support for families caught in the “non‑deployable” limbo. The system has changed now, allowing people to continue serving while they’re well, but that wasn’t the case at the time. In addition, the Department of Veterans Affairs’ policy didn’t link his cancer to his service, leaving the couple without the benefits they would have received today, due to the changes in policy.

The path to advocacy

Faced with a bureaucratic dead‑end, Annabelle turned to the ex‑service community. A chance introduction to Melbourne Legacy became a lifeline, offering childcare support, volunteer opportunities, and a network that helped her rebuild after Josh’s death. “Legacy saved my life,” she admits, emphasizing how essential that support was in the months after her loss.

Her involvement deepened: she began volunteering across various ex‑service organisations (RSL sub‑branch, Open Arms, Soldier On, and more). Looking back, Annabelle describes many of the career steps that followed as a natural progression from the work she was already doing.

“I think a lot of the things that I’ve ended up doing have been a natural next step. When I came into Legacy, I was already working in the charity sector, I had lived experience and I was volunteering extensively for Legacy. It was a natural step to go into that.”

That next step eventually saw Annabelle promoted to Chief Operating Officer at Melbourne Legacy, an opportunity she admits was daunting, saying, “The imposter syndrome was real.”

Her growing involvement also gave Annabelle a broader view of the veteran support landscape, transforming her grief into purpose and a desire to make things easier for other families. She described the fragmented network of services and organisations as a “spaghetti soup” – support existed, but navigating what was available and where to go could be difficult. She says: “I realised the community needed a North Star—someone who could bring lived experience into policy and hold the department to account.”

Annabelle Wilson, Veteran Families Commissioner - spoke at a Human Quotient Group event in Darwin, in August 2026.

Being selected as the Veteran Family Commissioner

Reluctance initially marked Annabelle’s decision to apply for the Commissioner role.

“I swore at the idea of working for DVA,” she confessed, recalling how the previous commissioner, Gwen—a fellow widow—persuaded her to apply. After a stubborn application process, Annabelle secured the position, stepping into a role that would allow her to bring her lived experience directly into the system she had once found so difficult to navigate.

She describes her early months as “healing.” Rather than viewing DVA as an adversary, Annabelle discovered a Department eager to listen. She has used her platform to talk to many people from all walks of life and different backgrounds and organisations to understand the biggest priorities and biggest opportunities. Her focus on the end beneficiaries shines through.

“What I want to do is leave the world a little better than I found it. I want to leave, and in this role and in this particular context, I want to leave this community a little better than I found it.

“I would love to fix everything. I don’t believe that in the next 4 years of a 5-year tenure that I’ll fix everything. But if I can leave the community a little better than I found it, then I’ll feel like my job is done,” she said.

By embedding herself in the community, she can spot unintended consequences of policy—such as inequities of eligibility and access or the ripple effects of tax system decisions on child support payments—before they become systemic problems.

Priorities: children, communication and community‑led change

Over the first year, Annabelle identified children of veterans as the most invisible demographic. Highlights include:

Children and Veterans Assembly at Government House, Canberra, featuring 30 children (some as young as 18 years old) sharing their stories directly with policymakers.
Sons and Daughters of Vietnam Veterans program– exploring opportunities to strengthen DVA’s support offering for children of Vietnam veterans.
Building Supportive Partnerships – supporting the delivery and growth of Open Arms’ 8-week resilience program for families.
Improving the way DVA communicates with the veteran community has been a major priority for Annabelle. It’s closely connected to her own experience navigating the system with Josh. As she put it: “One of the big things that I took the baseball bat out and started swinging immediately at was the way that the department communicates with the community… The letter that I got when DVA told me ‘computer said no’ was hurtful, to say the least. So, I came in here and I said to the department, ‘we’re going to fix this’”.

The personal side of public service

Balancing a demanding role with motherhood, Annabelle admits she often feels overwhelmed. Her grounding technique? She visualises “2017 Annabelle in the pit”—the version of herself who endured the darkest moments—and asks what that younger self would do.

“I call her 2017 Annabelle in the pit because I was literally in the pit,” says Annabelle.

“I think about what she would want me to do and what I should be doing for her. And yes, the situation and the issues and things have changed. If Joshua had died today, we would have a different experience, which is very healing for me. But the experience we had exists and a lot of the reforms we make don’t extend backwards.

“So, my North Star is her, in the pit and going, well, you have to make a decision. What would 2017 Annabelle in the Pit think the person representing her should do?”

Motherhood has also shaped the way Annabelle approaches her work and leadership. “Being a mum has really humbled me,” she says. She shared the pride she feels for her daughter, Primrose, who, despite growing up without her father, thrives with love and support from a wider network of family, friends, and a compassionate boyfriend who helps keep Josh’s spirit alive. “Prim is my biggest achievement,” Annabelle says, underscoring how personal healing fuels professional purpose.

A Call to Action

Annabelle’s final advice to the community is simple yet profound: **“Follow your nose.”** She encourages anyone interested in veteran support to volunteer, network, and speak up. “What you think is an anomaly is often a shared experience,” she reminds us.

“I think it’s really important to utilise roles like mine. Talk about what’s going on and talk to your peers about what’s going on because generally you can find other people experiencing it and then you can also build a solution too. So, I think we’re all in this together,” she said.

By forging connections—whether through existing organisations or new, community‑led platforms—people can turn their pain and ingenuity into systemic improvement.

Annabelle Wilson’s story is a testament to the power of lived experience in shaping public policy. From the heartbreak of losing a husband to the triumph of constructing a national children‑focused program, she proves that healing is not only possible—it can become the driving force behind meaningful, lasting change for veterans and their families. If you’re inspired by her journey, consider lending your voice or volunteer hours to a local veteran organisation—your contribution might just be the next piece of the puzzle that makes the system work for everyone.